Well here I go again,
LOL!!! Pastor Wife on a rampage…. So at
a meeting I attended the question was asked, “What is the Role of the Pastor Wife
in the 21st century?” My
question was, why it has changed.? Truthfully I allowed for my question to be misunderstood because the road it took was quite interesting,
but what I truly meant is why all of a sudden do we have (Pastor Wives, First
Ladies whatever title you prefer) to have such a dramatic role versus the role
of the older church.
I remember a time where the
Pastor’s wife was considered the Mother of the Church? A humbling role A thankless role, but a much
needed role none the less. Now the
ladies dub the Pastor’s wife often time is too busy doing everything else in
the church, preaching, administration, fashion show, gossiping, etc to be a
mother to her own children. I am not
trying to condemning but questioned. She
was respected. She was honored for her
loving attributes and humbling ways. She
was often the one that handled the younger children and talked to the younger
women.
I once heard an older Pastor Wife
say to another pastor’s wife, I am so proud of you young lady you have gave us
a voice in the church, when I turned around the young lady’s son was climbing
on the pews and her daughter was waddling up on the pulpit. I know I know I am
very old school. NO my kids never
ventured near the pulpit and climb over the pews, me and my switch will still
be getting happy!!! There is no
reverence in the church because we the person God gave charge of the Children
have dropped the ball.
Our new pastor wives dress
any way and some of our older ones do too.
Now I like my dresses above my knee and no sleeves are okay for me, but
my dress is not ever on my butt and in certain arenas I feel uncomfortable with
my dress at my knee. Yet I would never
go up on a stage with tight pants, underwear showing and other things showing
and call myself my husband wife. I am
just saying… The clothes that I
wear to church are different from the set for work, but my dress standards are
the same all week.
One of the older mothers
stated that it is because that all ministers are not called, well quite frankly
that ain’t got nothing to do with his wife.
Let me tell you this, my father wasn't saved but it didn't keep my mother
from being saved. One thing about a
marriage is although we become one we will still stand alone in judgment. For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ; that every one may receive the things done in his body, according to that he hath done, whether it be good or bad. 2 Cor 5:10 So whether that man is called or not his wife
as a Christian should still feel obligated to represent herself as a
Christian. We must be set apart.
The ladies don’t
know I sit back and listen and I gleam wisdom from them and sometimes it is not
always in the direction they may think.
I respect them so but I do feel that we as Pastor Wives have forgotten
our first calling and it is not to the church it is to Christ!!!!! My hierarchy is simple, Christ, Husband,
children, than church. Sorry but God
didn’t call me he call my husband. As
his wife I accept certain responsibilities but if it is not in line with God’s
word than I am not really impressed. Basically
ladies and gentlemen there is no reference, title or specific responsibilities
for a Pastor’s Wife or First Lady. There
is however a well-defined definition and list of responsibilities as a Wife and
Mother, which for me is my first calling.
Proverbs 31:10-31 ESV / 443 helpful votes
An excellent wife who can find? She is far
more precious than jewels. The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will
have no lack of gain. She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her
life. She seeks wool and flax, and works with willing hands. She is like the
ships of the merchant; she brings her food from afar.
1 Peter 3:1-6 ESV
Likewise, wives, be subject to your own
husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a
word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure
conduct. Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the
putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— but let your adorning be
the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and
quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious. For this is how the holy
women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own
husbands,
Proverbs 12:4 ESV
An excellent wife is the crown of her
husband, but she who brings shame is like rottenness in his bones.
Titus 2:1-15 ESV
But as for you, teach what accords with
sound doctrine. Older men are to be sober-minded, dignified, self-controlled,
sound in faith, in love, and in steadfastness. Older women likewise are to be
reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach
what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children,
to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own
husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.
Did you know that if your husband leaves his pastorate you are no longer a pastor's wife, but you are still a church member, you are still his wife and you are still your children mother!!!! So, I am merely a member of New
Truth, who so happens to be married to their pastor! I am honored by their love and treasure their respect but I often remind them I am sinner saved by Grace.
I pray that my life is an
example to others and do not create an air of superiority or royalty in that
role. Because quite frankly as his wife
my biggest job is to ensure his home is well maintained, his children are reared
and that I am a helpmeet to him in every aspect of our marriage and that does
not always include his ministry!!! My
role as a church member is to be the best member I can be. That may call me to sing, it may call me to
teach, it may call me to help my husband as secretary, nurse or cleaning crew,
but foot I have that job at home anyway!!!
As always, just my two cents!!!
Please check out the links
below don’t agree with everything but good read…
http://www.sats.edu.za/userfiles/RebuliSmith_PastorsWife.pdf
http://www.openbible.info/topics/being_a_good_wife
