Wednesday, August 26, 2015

The harsh fact...I need help

So some thought provoking conversation at women's meeting this week.

What should be expected out a Pastor's wife? What do you feel is your duty as a home provider and What are we representing to our young ladies with regards to our dress?  Great conversation and great insight.

So we are going to do a group discussion/forum and I am going to share it with as I learn.

Our topic Monday geared to Dress and Cleanliness.

 One of the young ladies said, "my mom always said a women with a dirty home has a dirty heart."  "A woman with a clutter heart has a clutter home."  She went down the line.  Than she brought out my mom's favorite saying a women that is always put together usually has a dirty home.

I went home and quite frankly working full-time, raising three kids, owning my own business, pastor's wife, and whatever else I am called to do, has me stretched to then.  My home is clutter and lately so has my mind and heart been the same.  How did the women of old do it?  They had less help.  My mom had to cook dinner, keep a house, run my father's errands for his business, do his books at one time, in the missionary department, choir and was working on her books, poetry and music career.  She was also self employed (many did not know this)  She did big in Avon, Shackley and Diamite as a sells rep.  Yet every night I would remember her ensuring our home was not only clean but she would take a bath that would have the whole house in this beautiful aroma, get dress all pretty and wait for daddy to come home.  Many times daddy didn't come home but that was her ritual.  Pregnant or sick she kept it together and daddy never help her with house work.

So now I look at myself.  Once before I went and sought out assistance. Why, because I was able to accomplish more when my home was clean and organized.   When I walk in my house and everything is in a dis-array I can not accomplish anything.  I end up starting a project and going to bed; to only feel defeated the next day.

We often get offended when older women of wisdom give advice but one thing I do know for sure 8/10 they are not talking from judgement but experience.  These ladies had me rolling and one of the first things one of the older woman told me was,  "Sis. Finley I don't mind sharing with you because of how you receive it."  I laughed but she is right. I have watched so many young ladies wear this chip on their shoulder because a older woman says something to them. Even worst, their husband gets angry and say well my wife doesn't have time to do all that she is taking care of me?  All you are doing is advocating a very wrong behavior. (especially for those that have girls) Contrary to what many believe in Proverbs it never states how much a woman is giving it up to her husband, causes her to have virtue.  It does how ever speak on her being a helpmate!!!  Thus you are to be in control of your home so that he does not have to worry about that.  Now this has nothing to do with a man helping a woman around the house.  Please Pastor can help me anytime, but it doesn't negate our biblical duty as his wife.

  http://avirtuouswoman.org/10-virtues-of-the-proverbs-31-woman/

8. Homemaking – A Virtuous Woman is a homemaker. She creates an inviting atmosphere of warmth and love for her family and guests. She uses hospitality to minister to those around her. (Proverbs 31: 15, Proverbs 31: 20 – 22, Proverbs 31: 27, Titus 2: 5, 1 Peter 4:9, Hebrews 13: 2)

  I personally decided Monday to remove clutter out of my life.  My mom had three-six children in her home every day for over 35 years of her married life.  Either my dads other two sons and hers or she was homeschooling someone else's and I have never walked into her home and saw in a disarray unless she was looking for something.  I want to be a woman of God that can train her daughter to be a well put together lady, a business woman, a confidant, a prayer warrior and a home provider.  And ladies your home being clean and clear of disorganization and clutter fits in that box.   

I was blessed yesterday have a conversation with Helena a Christian, homeschooling mom of 7.  She owns her on cleaning, interior decorating and organization business.  Our consultation is in two weeks. :) She said Michele, I understand how you feel and that shows that you want a loving pleasant home.  When I asked God how I could bless others I said help them achieve a peaceful and organized home.  She say's it is hard with kids trust me I have 7 all are still home, but my husband doesn't come home to a dirty house. Why, because when he comes home, I want him to have my attention without, having to move a plate off the coach to sit down!  LOL  She say's I wake up better knowing my home has order.  She said don't fret that is my gift and God showed me that along time ago.  Now what I tell my clients is embrace that God has someone here to help you bring balance and order back into your home. !!!!   That right there was a shouting moment for me!!!  Like I told her I keep three rooms pretty much clean all the time ,my main floor, but my home has no organization.  I want God to know that I appreciate every thing he gives me.  Not just my children, my car, my husband or my church home but my Home, Home!!!  I want it to look like how I feel about my blessing.

Just a personal confession