The harsh fact...I need help

So some thought provoking conversation at women's meeting this week.

What should be expected out a Pastor's wife? What do you feel is your duty as a home provider and What are we representing to our young ladies with regards to our dress?  Great conversation and great insight.

So we are going to do a group discussion/forum and I am going to share it with as I learn.

Our topic Monday geared to Dress and Cleanliness.

 One of the young ladies said, "my mom always said a women with a dirty home has a dirty heart."  "A woman with a clutter heart has a clutter home."  She went down the line.  Than she brought out my mom's favorite saying a women that is always put together usually has a dirty home.

I went home and quite frankly working full-time, raising three kids, owning my own business, pastor's wife, and whatever else I am called to do, has me stretched to then.  My home is clutter and lately so has my mind and heart been the same.  How did the women of old do it?  They had less help.  My mom had to cook dinner, keep a house, run my father's errands for his business, do his books at one time, in the missionary department, choir and was working on her books, poetry and music career.  She was also self employed (many did not know this)  She did big in Avon, Shackley and Diamite as a sells rep.  Yet every night I would remember her ensuring our home was not only clean but she would take a bath that would have the whole house in this beautiful aroma, get dress all pretty and wait for daddy to come home.  Many times daddy didn't come home but that was her ritual.  Pregnant or sick she kept it together and daddy never help her with house work.

So now I look at myself.  Once before I went and sought out assistance. Why, because I was able to accomplish more when my home was clean and organized.   When I walk in my house and everything is in a dis-array I can not accomplish anything.  I end up starting a project and going to bed; to only feel defeated the next day.

We often get offended when older women of wisdom give advice but one thing I do know for sure 8/10 they are not talking from judgement but experience.  These ladies had me rolling and one of the first things one of the older woman told me was,  "Sis. Finley I don't mind sharing with you because of how you receive it."  I laughed but she is right. I have watched so many young ladies wear this chip on their shoulder because a older woman says something to them. Even worst, their husband gets angry and say well my wife doesn't have time to do all that she is taking care of me?  All you are doing is advocating a very wrong behavior. (especially for those that have girls) Contrary to what many believe in Proverbs it never states how much a woman is giving it up to her husband, causes her to have virtue.  It does how ever speak on her being a helpmate!!!  Thus you are to be in control of your home so that he does not have to worry about that.  Now this has nothing to do with a man helping a woman around the house.  Please Pastor can help me anytime, but it doesn't negate our biblical duty as his wife.

  http://avirtuouswoman.org/10-virtues-of-the-proverbs-31-woman/

8. Homemaking – A Virtuous Woman is a homemaker. She creates an inviting atmosphere of warmth and love for her family and guests. She uses hospitality to minister to those around her. (Proverbs 31: 15, Proverbs 31: 20 – 22, Proverbs 31: 27, Titus 2: 5, 1 Peter 4:9, Hebrews 13: 2)

  I personally decided Monday to remove clutter out of my life.  My mom had three-six children in her home every day for over 35 years of her married life.  Either my dads other two sons and hers or she was homeschooling someone else's and I have never walked into her home and saw in a disarray unless she was looking for something.  I want to be a woman of God that can train her daughter to be a well put together lady, a business woman, a confidant, a prayer warrior and a home provider.  And ladies your home being clean and clear of disorganization and clutter fits in that box.   

I was blessed yesterday have a conversation with Helena a Christian, homeschooling mom of 7.  She owns her on cleaning, interior decorating and organization business.  Our consultation is in two weeks. :) She said Michele, I understand how you feel and that shows that you want a loving pleasant home.  When I asked God how I could bless others I said help them achieve a peaceful and organized home.  She say's it is hard with kids trust me I have 7 all are still home, but my husband doesn't come home to a dirty house. Why, because when he comes home, I want him to have my attention without, having to move a plate off the coach to sit down!  LOL  She say's I wake up better knowing my home has order.  She said don't fret that is my gift and God showed me that along time ago.  Now what I tell my clients is embrace that God has someone here to help you bring balance and order back into your home. !!!!   That right there was a shouting moment for me!!!  Like I told her I keep three rooms pretty much clean all the time ,my main floor, but my home has no organization.  I want God to know that I appreciate every thing he gives me.  Not just my children, my car, my husband or my church home but my Home, Home!!!  I want it to look like how I feel about my blessing.

Just a personal confession

Eyes Wide Open....

Sometimes you look at your life and realize you have just been walking with your eyes shut!!!!
Not on purpose!!  You are so busy with life that your eyes are literally shut to what is going on around you.  Today walking into Children Hospital for my oldest Daughter's doctor appt, I saw a beautiful young lady with cerebral palsy or some disease that would affect her spinal development. Her smile lite up the whole parking lot.  Everyone that was able to walk their children into the door, or watch their children run and talk on their own had to  have realize how bless they were right at that moment!!! OR Was their eyes even open?  That beautiful young lady was content and happy despite her circumstances.

We wrap ourselves so into our own problems, concentrate so on our on environments, situations, circumstances and life challenges, we miss the hand of God molding and sculpting our lives showing us how so bless we are despite our circumstances.

Are your Eyes Wide Open,

Have you sat down and realize that no you don't have a mansion but you have a beautiful home.
Have you look around and realize you are not a millionaire but you can afford dinner?
Have just touched your spouse and realize you could be alone in this world?
Have you realized ....?

Today I pray that everyone that reads this post open their eyes WIDE OPEN!!!

I pray that God will anoint those eyes and give you a clear vision on how he has enrichly bless you no matter how much or how little you have.  I am so grateful for all of the blessings he has allowed me to see but those that he reveals to me daily in the stillness of my thoughts.

When I see my daughters laugh or hear my son talk to me about something I have no clue about;  When I catch my husband looking at me intently with a smile that only we share, when I get to laugh at one of my mommies quirky ways, or laugh at my niece's or nephew's because they have eaten a whole pan of rolls.  The big things God does for me are huge, but it is the little things that I overlook that I just want him to know I am so grateful.  I want him to know I delight my self in him.  Psalms 37:4 Delight thyself also in the LORD; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart.

I am grateful that with my eyes wide open I can see the hills from which cometh my help!!!  I am just in awe of all that God can, has and will do for me.  Ps121:8

. I will lift up mine eyes unto the hills, from whence cometh my help.  2 My help cometh from the Lord, which made heaven and earth.  3 He will not suffer thy foot to be moved: he that keepeth thee will not slumber. 4 Behold, he that keepeth Israel shall neither slumber nor sleep.  5 The Lord is thy keeper: the Lord is thy shade upon thy right hand.  6 The sun shall not smite thee by day, nor the moon by night.  7 The Lord shall preserve thee from all evil: he shall preserve thy soul.  8 The Lord shall preserve thy going out and thy coming in from this time forth, and even for evermore.

Please every GET UP AND OPEN YOUR EYES WIDE AND SEE THE GLORY OF GOD!  IF A CHILD CAN UNDERSTAND THAT IN THE MIDST OF HER CONDITION WE SHOULD TOO!!!

A Generational Problem....Breaking the YOKE!!!!

Ephesians 4:29 ESV

Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.

In my family my dad always talked about people.  It was just how he was raise.  I mean daddy could be cruel and mean and would tell you well you know that is how I am.  A couple a years ago I repeated something my dad said about my Uncle Earl that I thought it was true for the longest, and until I verbalized it I never understood how damaging it was to my Uncle.  He knew that daddy felt that way and that he told the whole family he was this person that he truly was not, but for years it was okay and justified for dad to say it.  It wasn’t until I saw that hurt on my uncle’s face that I realized the cycle that was perpetuated in my life and my husband life just by repeating that statement.   A generational curse enters in through the gateway of our sins knowingly or unknowingly! Yes the sin/curse is broken by salvation but unless all parties are saved than all parties are not free from the curse.    

Exodus 34:7, "Keeping mercy for thousands, forgiving iniquity and transgression and sin, and that will by no means clear the guilty; visiting (punishing) the iniquity of the fathers upon the children, and upon the children's children, unto the third and to the fourth generation.

"

 So now fast forward to me now…a 46 year old woman that still suffers the verbal abuse from friends but especially family members and for the longest because that was how I was taught that it was okay!  I should just take it because it is family.   If I speak up for myself, I am angry, bitter, unforgiving,  a woman that doesn’t know how to shut up, controlling, wow the list goes on!!!   If I quote a scripture or say God didn’t ordain something all of sudden I am a holier than thou Christian or trying to be a preacher or I have even heard the one I am over-stepping my husband.  If you correct the person than you are wrong because  “You know that this person gets angry and don’t really mean what they say”  or “Michele that is just how they are they didn’t mean no harm” or  “Honey you are a Christian, what would Jesus do”

 I am grateful for a husband that once told me, “ Michele, I don’t curse at you never ever allow any one even your own family members to curse you.”  That was such a poignant statement that it to this day makes me shutter in my seat.  Why because in my house to demean or belittle a woman was common and okay.  God says love her like Christ loves the Church, I have never heard Christ demean a woman but women first you have to love yourself.

  I Cor 6:19 What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own? 

Would you mistreat your temple than don’t let anyone else!!!!

SO GOES THE GENERATIONAL CURSE OF DEMEANING WOMEN, ALIENATING FAMILY AND BACK BITING HOW DOES THIS STOP???  Break the chain (Repent or come to Christ), stop the cycle (being apart of the Gossiping and back betting and demeaning behaviors) and pray!!!

Well today I am learning to love myself enough not to allow those that cannot love me back around my family.  I don’t want my daughters to grow up feeling as if every time they leave a room someone is talking about them.  I don’t want my son to feel like he is never good enough.  My daddy did what he was taught.  In his defense he always was trying to prove something to someone because they always said Garrett won’t be any good.  Yet the same Uncle’s that he use to bad mouth so, takes care of his daughter as if she was his own and visits him at least once a month.    He and his wife check on my mom all the time and truthfully the person dad said he was is nowhere near to be the truth.  I know this because he step back and allowed his actions to show his truth.  I declare this day I want the YOKE BROKEN! The Gossiping, Demeaning, Lying and Back Biting that goes on to STOP!  I do not want it to continue on in our family, I don’t want the continued abuse between each other to continue, but for it to stop we must stop, step back and let God! 

We must learn to stay out of the way of the evil one and pray for them that despite-fully use you and mistreat you. When we continue to stay in the chain of the generational curse we continue to perpetuate it.  GOD CAN NOT WORK IF YOU ARE ALWAYS TRYING TO FIX IT.

Psalms 46:10 Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.  

So that means you must not center yourself around them or continue to perpetuate the environment that allows their abusive behavior, because than you allow the devil to take you out of God’s will and purpose.  You do however have to pray that God will change them, give them a clean heart.  Be good to them and whenever you pray for someone you are being good to them.

 Matt. 5:44 God’s word says, “ But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despite-fully use you, and persecute you;”

 It doesn’t mean you love someone less to demand respect!  It just means you love yourself like God loves you.   

DO SOMETHING PRAY!!!